For the first time, aku muak dengan sesetengah orang punya definisi hebat. You could be the greatest in this world, tapi kalau kau pandang rendah dengan orang yang serba serbi kekurangan ataupun orang-orang yang kurang beruntung, then you’re nothing. It is never “hasil titik peluh aku” it has always been “kalau Allah tak izinkan, takkan jadi”.
Ikutlah resmi padi, makin berisi makin menunduk.
Mungkin jalan menuju bahagia masih tak jelas kelihatan, tapi ia tak bermakna, kita takkan bahagia kan?
In Shaa Allah, pada waktu yang tepat nanti, segala yang membuat kita terpuruk dengan kehilangan dan kesunyian paling dalam akan digantikan hanya dengan yang indah-indah belaka.
Sebab hidup ni diantara dua, dalam bahagia ada sedihnya, dan dalam sedih ada terselitnya bahagia. Kalau dulu kita cakap dunia ni tak adil, ia hanya berpihak pada yang bijak pandai dan yang berupa, tapi kita tak sedar sebenarnya ada nikmat dan pengajaran yang Tuhan dah selitkan dalam setiap perkara yang terjadi dalam hidup kita.
Dan kalau kau gagal bersaing dengan orang yang mengejar dunia maka bersainglah dengan mereka dalam urusan akhirat.
Yang mewah akan dianggap kaya, tapi miskin jika tiada adabnya, yang cantik dan elok akan dianggap berupa namun kelihatan biasa jika tiada akhlaknya, yang bijak pandai akan dipandang tinggi namun apa perkiraannya benar belaka jika didadanya hanya dipenuhi dengan ilmu dunia semata?
I have never questioned Allah since, sebab jalan hidup kita semua berbeza, kalau asyik bahagia memanjang, mana datangnya hari kita nak berlari, menangis, bercerita pada Tuhan?
I’ve always said, susahnya jadi seorang aku, sampai satu titik tu aku cakap, kalau ini yang Tuhan takdirkan untuk menjadi bahagian takdir aku, maka aku terima dengan lapang dada. And because I am in this phase where I am redha, I am always afraid to let anyone else in, takut mereka yang tak kuat . I am afraid of being weak just because they can’t be strong for me.
Dan kerana itu, doa yang aku sebut selalu, agar diberikan seseorang yang kuat mental dan jiwanya because I know, in order to be strong, I need someone to be much more stronger and emotionally stable than me. Bukannya suka-suka, for I have my own reasons on why I needed such support system in my life.
Jangan berharap untuk masuk dalam hidup seseorang dengan niat ingin menyembuhkan, for someone will only be helped if they are willing to help themselves first, tak perlu dipaksa, dia akan bangkit slowly, sebab yakinnya dia pada setiap qada’ & qadar Allah, it may take them some times even…but once they’re ready, they’ll set off to a greater heights.
And here I am, would like to remind you that it is never your responsibility to heal anyone. It is never your responsibility to carry weights that was never yours.
Just sit with them in their silence, and let them be sad till they’re not. With three conditions, only if you’re willing to wait, only if you’re sure of your own feelings and only if you are ready to get hurt again, just in case.
Why would you live in hatred? isn’t battling with your inner self is already hard enough as it is? Why do you even want to add more salts to your open wounds? Isn’t it tiring enough, having to choose to go with your heart or your guts?
Let go, for whatever is weighing you down. I pray you find the courage in you, to let it go as you should. I too hope that you’ll find the light in you, to shine your way through those days you felt like you’re on your own, alone, in this dark and scary path.
And lastly, I truly hope that in the search of your peace, you’ll find the missing pieces of yourselves too.
And if you didn’t see me there in Jannah, ask for me okay? For I am still struggling into finding my way back to Allah.
And no, iloveyou’s didn’t make me flustered anymore, it’s the “moga berpimpinan tangan di Syurga nanti” made me feel elated.
Bayangkan…kalau dengar cerita pun dah seronok apatah lagi dapat ticket access to Syurga Allah?
Sometimes we were too busy bettering ourselves for our future spouse we forget to better ourselves to be the children our parents deserves.
We were busy “perfecting” ours flaws that we rather be flawed in the eyes of our parents just because we have this “terimalah seadanya, dah anak kan?” mindset walhal it’s the same for everyone else.
Tak perlu nak beria sangat, bersederhana sahaja. Tak akan lari gunung dikejar hilang kabut tampaklah dia.
Sometimes you think that you’re strong, just because you wishes for others happiness though they abandon your love, forgetting that you matter too, that you too deserves to be happy. Even if it means being happy, without them.
Fariha Róisín, from Who Is Wellness For?: An Examination of Wellness Culture and Who It Leaves Behind
[Text ID: “I never fought back, I learned how to cry silently, I bore my sins.”]
Funny how I used to wanting to be notice, but I would rather disappear, now.
Funny just how fast things would go from “pray that I’ll be happy” to “pray that wherever I’ll be in life, I’ll always be at peace”.
Sometimes life do tires me out, semakin ke sini semakin ke situ. Semakin ingin mencegah, semakin terluka parah.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to this life. But I’ll try till it get sick of me. The way I am sick of having to outrun my own feelings.